Merry Christmas To All!
Christmas is my favorite holiday! Which I realize is not original in the least, but still, I love it so much!
My Christmas wish for you this season is to have a stress-free, enjoyable holiday. Don't think it's possible? Whether it is or whether it isn't possible actually all depends on your choices. How do you want to reflect upon this year's holiday? Will you feel like a Christmas angel? Or are you going to Scrooge-It-Up? How you spend your holiday is all up to you, babe.
While growing up Christmas was, for me, all about the family experience. My parents are divorced so each year I had TWO Christmases, one with my dad and then one with my mom. But also within the separated celebrations of my parents were even more little mini-Christmases! Not only did I share Christmas with my folks but also traveled to various grandparents', aunts' and uncles' homes for this holiday.
Last Christmas with my mom & step-dad.
Look at my tiny little mama! She's the cutest.
My dad wanted a turtle neck for Christmas last year.
Look at this face; he can hardly contain himself, he's so excited.
The gifts we received each year were always very nice and thoughtful but that was never the focus. There were cousins to be played with! Card games with great-grandma and my mom! And there was always an aunt or two in the kitchen just waiting for you to come and inspect their cookie-baking (not one cookie has ever failed inspection, but each year I just have to be sure...) Every year, after Christmas wound down, I would come back to reality, head back to school and reflect on what a lovely holiday break I'd had. And I would look upon the next season with such joy and anticipation; it truly was the most wonderful time of the year.
Sigh. Last year's Charlie Brown tree.
Scraggly, but it got the job done.
But somewhere, in the chaos and confusion of growing up, that holiday feeling I enjoyed so much as a child got lost. In these past few years since graduating college and getting married, Christmas has just not felt the same. Instead of looking forward to all the fun times I will have, I'm making mental lists of all the things I have to do. I exhaust myself in the weeks leading up to Christmas, making mountains of homemade goodies, bouncing around from mall after mall, store after store and scrutinizing each and every package; is it perfectly wrapped with the appropriate amount of ribbons, bows, etc?
My mother's yorkies. For some reason, we think putting the
dogs in Christmas outfits will be fun for them.
Phoebe would rather eat her Santa hat than wear it.
The culmination of Thanksgiving used to leave me so excited. "Christmas is coming! Hurray!" But lately, wrapping up Thanksgiving has left me thinking, "Ugh, Christmas - so much to do." Busy, busy, dreadfully busy... (Veggie Tales, anyone?) Instead of peace on earth and mercy mild all I felt was stress; stress to accomplish all of my tasks and also to live up to everyone's expectations.
So this year, I decided to change my Christmas perspective.
Because all of the "tasks" and "expectations" that I was trying to satisfy never actually existed until I created them. I was the one who had turned gift giving and wrapping into a graded performance. I was the one who felt the need to locate everyone's perfect Christmas gift, regardless of how many stores that meant going to. And I was the one who decided that chocolate dipping approximately 400 items from potato chips to Oreos to marshmallows was a great way to spend about 9 hours of my life. (Not kidding. 400 might even be an understatement.)
You see, I had myself confused. I thought that because I chose to stress myself at the holidays meant that I had to stress myself at the holidays. But I'm the one who chose to do all of this lovely but unnecessary stuff in the first place - so couldn't I un-choose it?
The answer to this, of course, is "yes".
I came to this realization after having a conversation with my mom. I mentioned that maybe-sorta-kinda this year I didn't want to chocolate dip a ton of treats with her. (We box these up in cutesie little tins and give them away to co-workers, neighbors, church friends, etc.) That's been our week-before-Christmas tradition for a few years now and I totally thought I'd be breaking her heart. But guess what she said???
"That's okay, honey."
That one simple, tiny phrase of confirmation brought with it so much revelation! If I didn't do all of the things that I had the last few years, everything would still be okay. Christmas would still come. No one would be disappointed in me. And I might actually have a chance to sit back and enjoy the moments again; moments that I should have cherished but instead let get swallowed up by being busy.
So do yourself a favor, you-incredibly-busy-person-you; this Christmas, don't be so busy. Look at your Christmas to-do list; what can you eliminate? How devastated will people actually be if you don't accomplish these tasks? I'd be willing to bet your loved ones would much rather have the gift of a happy, relaxed you than all that stuff you think you need to tackle.
Here's What I Did This Year Instead:
Instead of spending hours and hours making piles of goodies: Everyone got a box of store box candy. I bought the same kind for everybody, spent less money and saved myself like literally an entire day (I guarantee if I added up all the hours spent in the kitchen just on treats alone it would easily tally to 24 hours total. Isn't that just nuts?!)
Result: EVERYBODY LOVED IT. Turns out, people are just thankful you thought of them during this season and are happy to receive whatever.
Instead of traveling around to stores near and far in search of those perfect gifts: I took ONE day, limited myself to 5 mile radius, bought stuff that was as close as I could get to my list and then grabbed a bunch of gift bags and pretty tissue paper.
Result: 1) I live in the 'burbs, so I don't have to travel that far to find at least one decent mall and about 100 giant stores (Target, Kohl's and Home Depot are practically in my backyard).
2) Everyone that I'm buying for is a actually a very reasonable, grateful person and will be so happy with whatever they are given (the gifts might not be perfect but they're all still pretty great!)
3) Gift bags = ZERO wrapping! (I needn't say anymore about that!)
Instead of spending money and a ton of time decorating the house inside and out: I got out all of my decorations from last year and used ONLY THOSE. I didn't even so much as buy one new bauble. We also decided (deep breaths here) NOT to put up a tree or hang any lights. I simply placed a bit of festive décor around the house, hung my revamped burlap wreath on the door and called it good.
Result: John Paul and I don't even have kids yet. So when I felt bad about not going all out on decorating this year I had to ask myself, "Just who exactly am I decorating for?" My husband and my chocolate lab do not care about ornaments, lights and tinsel. So that meant the only person in the house that cared about the decorations was also the person with the power to decide NOT to decorate. So I didn't - and it was liberating, let me tell you!
So this year, I decided to change my Christmas perspective.
Because all of the "tasks" and "expectations" that I was trying to satisfy never actually existed until I created them. I was the one who had turned gift giving and wrapping into a graded performance. I was the one who felt the need to locate everyone's perfect Christmas gift, regardless of how many stores that meant going to. And I was the one who decided that chocolate dipping approximately 400 items from potato chips to Oreos to marshmallows was a great way to spend about 9 hours of my life. (Not kidding. 400 might even be an understatement.)
A mere FRACTION of what my mom and I chocolate dipped last year.
It's our tradition that is SO good but SO time consuming...
not to mention expensive!
You see, I had myself confused. I thought that because I chose to stress myself at the holidays meant that I had to stress myself at the holidays. But I'm the one who chose to do all of this lovely but unnecessary stuff in the first place - so couldn't I un-choose it?
The answer to this, of course, is "yes".
I came to this realization after having a conversation with my mom. I mentioned that maybe-sorta-kinda this year I didn't want to chocolate dip a ton of treats with her. (We box these up in cutesie little tins and give them away to co-workers, neighbors, church friends, etc.) That's been our week-before-Christmas tradition for a few years now and I totally thought I'd be breaking her heart. But guess what she said???
"That's okay, honey."
That one simple, tiny phrase of confirmation brought with it so much revelation! If I didn't do all of the things that I had the last few years, everything would still be okay. Christmas would still come. No one would be disappointed in me. And I might actually have a chance to sit back and enjoy the moments again; moments that I should have cherished but instead let get swallowed up by being busy.
Photo via outblush.com
All of those folks who usually get a box of homemade goodies are getting a STORE BOUGHT box of ribbon candy this year.
And you know what? I bet they're still just as stoked. 'Cuz that stuff is cool.
So do yourself a favor, you-incredibly-busy-person-you; this Christmas, don't be so busy. Look at your Christmas to-do list; what can you eliminate? How devastated will people actually be if you don't accomplish these tasks? I'd be willing to bet your loved ones would much rather have the gift of a happy, relaxed you than all that stuff you think you need to tackle.
Here's What I Did This Year Instead:
Instead of spending hours and hours making piles of goodies: Everyone got a box of store box candy. I bought the same kind for everybody, spent less money and saved myself like literally an entire day (I guarantee if I added up all the hours spent in the kitchen just on treats alone it would easily tally to 24 hours total. Isn't that just nuts?!)
Result: EVERYBODY LOVED IT. Turns out, people are just thankful you thought of them during this season and are happy to receive whatever.
Instead of traveling around to stores near and far in search of those perfect gifts: I took ONE day, limited myself to 5 mile radius, bought stuff that was as close as I could get to my list and then grabbed a bunch of gift bags and pretty tissue paper.
Result: 1) I live in the 'burbs, so I don't have to travel that far to find at least one decent mall and about 100 giant stores (Target, Kohl's and Home Depot are practically in my backyard).
2) Everyone that I'm buying for is a actually a very reasonable, grateful person and will be so happy with whatever they are given (the gifts might not be perfect but they're all still pretty great!)
3) Gift bags = ZERO wrapping! (I needn't say anymore about that!)
Instead of spending money and a ton of time decorating the house inside and out: I got out all of my decorations from last year and used ONLY THOSE. I didn't even so much as buy one new bauble. We also decided (deep breaths here) NOT to put up a tree or hang any lights. I simply placed a bit of festive décor around the house, hung my revamped burlap wreath on the door and called it good.
Result: John Paul and I don't even have kids yet. So when I felt bad about not going all out on decorating this year I had to ask myself, "Just who exactly am I decorating for?" My husband and my chocolate lab do not care about ornaments, lights and tinsel. So that meant the only person in the house that cared about the decorations was also the person with the power to decide NOT to decorate. So I didn't - and it was liberating, let me tell you!
This year I'll be snuggled up JUST to the ones I love the most, and NOT chained to my kitchen appliances! (Though I do love my stand mixer...)
Have a lovely, restful Christmas!
And God rest ye merry busy people.
Christmas Blessings,
from That Busy Girl
Blair Clark
aaaaaaa yes, a chill out Christmas. I should give it a try some year. Of course if you ask Sibyl she probably thinks I chill out just fine. Happy to be included in your season of relaxing this year. Tom
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